It always amazes me how quickly insecurity can rear its ugly head and consumes all confidence. . .
And it's not the typical insecurity where people unsubtly seek for a compliment via rebuttal, but I mean the overwhelming fear and all consuming anxiety that we will be found to be unpleasant and unattractive to the core by someone whom we wish would see us otherwise.
As if we could deceive them into thinking that we're something we're not. . .we continue to hope no one calls us on our crap. You avoid pictures because you don't want memories of what you look like, you despise mirrors because it shows the reflection of how repulsive you truly are.
It's a sick cycle. . .we fear the truth but almost half wish someone would speak it, as if validating our repulsiveness would actually free us of it. . .you feel fragile at any rate. . .broken if they find you unattractive and a fraud if they find you attractive. . .where does this battle come from?!?!
And then you get aggravated with yourself because of your insecurity. . .it's unfounded and irrational. . .finally, you surface from your self-inflicted drowning session and realize that voicing your concerns have relegated you to the shallow end of society.
