currently...

...jesus is changing me...everyday...it may seem intangible most days...but He changes me...i'm nothing more (or less) than the woman who busted in on the dinner party, completely uninvited with my alabaster and cried on Jesus' feet with gratitude and sorrow...

she is me.

i am her.

he loves me.

and so any place i currently am at, i am grateful for simply because i know that i will never be there or that person again...every moment is something to experience, every encounter with Him is life changing.

it seems i don't get it right often, but my faith is in the Author...and it's through Him that perhaps someday i will...it's not a goal so much as a promise- from Him to me...this i know....

i wonder...

have you ever seen the movie the truman show?

i feel like i’m jim carrey...living this seemingly perfect life that is just handed to him...

and then the light drops from the sky...and all of a sudden he's thrust on this quest full of rebellion, questions, self-discovery, blunders on display for the world to see and daily derision from himself and others...

and i find myself wondering...when exactly am i going to run into the sky?

and will it be the end of my story? or the beginning of the discovery of who i really am outside of this constructed reality?

i don't know...so for now, i'm staying off boats...