Despite the fact that I'm merely 340 days behind my running daily New Years resolution from 07 for 08, I think I've figured out why the end of the year remains such a satisfying and anticipatory time for me...I get such a sense of accomplishment in surviving another year and living as best as I knew and learning so so much...another year is done...time never stops...
I never knew this to be more true than one day at work, I had just finished my shift and one of my residents passed. It was a complete shock...from left field entirely. I was heartbroken for her because we were finally making progress...and when I went into her room to say goodbye, I fought the tears back and avoided eye contact with my co-workers that were gathering to pay their respects...and as I stood at the foot of her bed, completely dumbfounded, I saw the secondhand keep trudging along in its well worn path around the face of her wristwatch. And in that split second, I was shocked and devastated. Somewhere in me there was a cry begging for time to stand still and I felt there was a crude injustice being done by the ticking of the secondhand; as if time should pause, even just for a second to pay respect to this woman, or at the very least, her own watch should know to stop when she was gone.
I'm sure you've heard the quote..."everyone dies, but not everyone truly lives"...and I can tell you, I walked out of her room that day and everyday since when one of my residents passes, appreciative of life, thankful for time and with this sense of responsibility to myself, my future and my legacy to live. To live life and take notice of the seconds. To pay attention to the pain that is created and washed away, the lives that are lost and the people that leave.
So as another year closes and another greets us with shining hope and unforeseen troubles, I am thankful for my life, for every second that has gotten me here and for every second that I will get to live in this next one...
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