my most favorite

i know bad things happen to everyone and it seems like a good portion of the time, the bad things have these really valuable lessons intrinsically woven in them...for me, i've been able to pinpoint my most favorite bad thing and my least favorite bad thing that have happened to me over the years.
this one is by far, my most favorite. which is good, because it contains my most favorite quote as well...
it has to do with a guy...we had been friends, i wanted more, he didn't, we existed. we were close. really close. and then he changed his mind and wanted more. i was floored. it was everything and more than i could have wanted. i had no idea he had felt like this for so long. i felt like life was finally falling into place. love was most definitely in the air. i was no longer holding out hope, i was living its reality! and then he changed his mind again but this time, it was not so good. he wanted out. he got scared. he didn't know why he said all those things. i felt trapped. i couldn't breathe. here was this guy that i have loved. we have been through real life together, i mean hard things and beautiful things. he was my best friend. and here he was breaking my heart in front of me, tearing it to shreds with his words and yet, as if to try and put salve on an open wound, was asking me to remain his friend because he values me so much and can't imagine life without me. the salve may as well have been salt. i said to him my favorite quote, "i can't put my heart back in a box that was too small for it to begin with." and with that, i severed all ties. i lost my best friend, my (what i thought at the time) chance at love, my social circle, my idealism...but it was after having my insides ripped out and everything i held onto for life die off that i was forced to realize another way to live. i had to recreate myself and am now reaping the benefits of that reconstruction. never would i wish the pain i had felt on anyone, but for me, it was a new beginning...and i'm actually grateful, because i know now what i don't want and sometimes that's half the battle...