bah bah bah

I normally kid around with people and tell them that I'm the 'black sheep' of the family. I'm the one who rebels in thought, behavior, personality, language, tastes, and what I consider socially acceptable and beautiful. I push the limits, what can I say? While these things remain to be true, which I tend to attribute to my bohemian outlook on life, I've come to the conclusion that we are all 'black sheep' in life.
I'll say it again: we are all black sheep. Wanting so much to be without blemishes and all too often over-looking our blemishes, discounting them, and hiding them, we pretend to be something we aren't all in hopes of pleasing others, so we seem 'normal' and unstained. It's horribly ironic- each one of us is blemished and everyone knows what it's like to pretend we aren't blemished. Each one of us can remember a time when we felt like all we were doing was hiding who we were from those around us. What a fearful way to live, always suspicious and wondering if today was the day that the others will find out how truly different I am and how horrible those differences are.
So I find comfort now, knowing that even as I (albeit rarely) find myself trying to blend in and fly below the radar, that we as humans are nothing more and nothing less than the proverbial black sheep, the odd ones out.

We are all blemished, we are all trying to blend in, we are all standing out, on our own, hoping that someone will appreciate us for our blackness, our differences, if for nothing more. This hulking monstrosity of a burden is suddenly lightened by the realization that I'm not alone and in life we are all blemished and bleating, praying we don't stand out.